Disappointed in myself

I have never thought that I would be so affected by work..

A lot of work changes lately, work is piling up, so is the stress..

I feel that I am doing a horrible job..

So disappointed in myself..

Work life balance

I am starting to get some balance!

So happy..

Found a social netball team to play with, hopefully it will be fun meeting new ppl..

Start jogging more frequently now..

Improved my timing Today..

Want to lose weight and improve my stamina before oct diving team and Netball competition..

Light in the tunnel

Beginning to see some light in the tunnel..

Work is crazy..

But the support I get from my colleagues make everything worthed it..

Found a social Netball team and will be joining them for their twice weekly games as much as I can..

I miss playing the sport so so much..

Will be forming a team to representative PSA in a competition with reps from all companies in temasek holdings..

Hope We don't fare too badly..

Tough week

This week have been a tough week..

Going down to the wake After work everyday and staying till late

Not forgetting having to wake up early morning the Next day, feeling mentally n physically tired

But I am real glad to have awesome colleaguesand boss who stood by me..

They support really made my week..

Happy Birthday to me

Just that there is nothing to be happy about..

It have been a horrible week, although it kind of just started..

Went to work and a major exception happened..

Received a call that my paternal grandmother passed away..

Went down to the wake..

Discussed about dad's housing issue and everything seem bleak to me..

He need to move out (evicted) of his rented flat by end Sept..

So need to buy a resale hdb rather urgently..

Can only use my name n dad's name for it..

Enquired a little about the amount of money needed..

Don't Think I even have enough for the down payment even If I dig out all my savings..

Haiz.. I don't know..

Feel loss now..

Booooo

Why am I sick on a weekend....  =(

What is wrong with my memory?

My memory have been horrible lately.

Keep forgetting everything.

Haiz..

Why is it that..

Some things when happened still give you a shock even when u kind of expected it..

Solo travel

I set myself a goal to try traveling solo next year.

I shall make it come true. I can't wait.

17 more days!

To my Japan trip!

Got my salary increment letter this month too. =)

Some staff movement around and I got a new boss. Hopefully can work well with him.

New goals new life.

Memories

Was packing my drawers and cupboards When I went through a lot of photos and things I kept for very long.

Brought back a lot of memories.

Make me tempted to bring a camera to Japan.

Which I initially lazy to as I have gotten super lazy in taking photos.

But the photos reminded me that I should so as I can document my memories.

How I miss those travelling days

Why is it that when i am determined to save money i end up spending more?

Just spent almost 3k on new furniture for my house, changed the sofa and new bed for my room.

That fine since the sofa been around for 10 years and it's for my family.

But after that I refuse to allow myself to shop for things, wanna save up till I go Japan.

But I am forced to do so.

My most often worn black jeans that I wear to work almost daily developed a hole at my thigh area, huge hole. No choice But to change.

My work shoes/heels sole also came off.

Make me have to go shopping.

And my facial package is finishing soon.

Don't know If I should renew not, renew means more money spent. Haix

How i wish my weighing machine is lying =(

But it isn't..

Many people at work have been telling me I gain weight, hear it every single day.

So sad..

This time round I am very determined to lose them!

Just ran 3.8km in 31mins today. Not a fantastic timing But I am still proud of myself!

Target to not stop and run for at least 30mins non stop regardless of the speed. At least I hit my target.

And considering that I played Netball on Thurs, badminton on Fri and Sat. Rest 1 day on Sunday and ran today! Good start =)

Will be signing up for yoga class at the community centre at my house, should be starting This wed.

I hope I will make my training plan come true.

I will hit the 10km mark before July!  My short term goal..

I am aching all over with blue blacks here n there

But it feels good!

Played Netball yesterday and badminton yesterday.

Got champion for the staff games in Netball yesterday.

Although it is just 3 deciding rounds,  it feels good to get back what we lost 2 years ago.

Miss playing Netball.

Will be taking part in a 4-4 mixed Netball competition Next month.

I shall train for it, I hope I will at least.

Big hole in my pocket

Need to spend almost 1k to service my Mazda 2.

So damn ex!!

Courage

Been wanting to send that message But Don't dare to..

Short hair

I suddenly have the urge to cut back my short hair.

Short hair feels more me.

But Don't want to waste my money cos I just rebonded my hair.

Maybe I should tahan, till August n cut in Japan

Japan trip

Finally started to plan for the trip!

Travel route:

Tokyo - Osaka - Nara - Kyoto - Tokyo

Will be a partial backpack and partial luxury trip.

I can't wait, mount fuji will be in the plan as well, haven't hike for a long time. Looking forward to it.

On a side note, replenished my supplements today. Got sale and saved $20!

Bought a vitamin C and multi vitamin.

Never have thought that I would be discipline enough to eat them regularly But amazingly I did and my mysterious blue blacks stopped appearing, at least it works.

Shape run!

I must be crazy, But I signed up for the 10km shape run in July.

Never thought I would every join something like that But was hoping that it will force me to train.

I hope it works..

Hong Kong + Macau

Finally went to hongkong.

First time there, before going was looking forward to the food and shopping that many people rave about But apparently it wasn't as good as I thought it will be.

Managed to stock up my mask cupboard tho. It was running low after my stock up from Taiwan last week, now it's packed to the brim again.

Diving trip in July is canceled, Sian.

Next trip to look forward to is Japan!!

I just realised Japan is the last trip I have left This year.. oh no..

Thursday

Just when I am setting my alarm, I realised is it Thursday Tml!

Followed by TGIF!

Weekend coming, I feel dead tired..

Behind the smile, laughter and makeup

I realized I have been feeling real unhappy lately..

Haven't felt So unhappy before..

I have never

Cried So much and So long.

The hurtful things done can never be undone

Non shift

I hope I don't disappointed.

My readings

I can't believe that instead of watching running man or my many magazine I am reading the company price list instead.

Was ask to memorize it by my boss.

I don't understand Why when no one NO ONE else is required to do so.

Haiz..

Notebook

Today I receive an email saying that my notebook for work is here.

Means I need to start slogging le..

My red mouse

It may seem real stupid But I am so Happy that I finally bought my red mouse.

It is something that I always always wanted to get But couldn't justify getting.

Since dunno How long ago I told myself that I will get a red wireless mouse once I go non shift.

Haha, Jielin was asking me Why I was smiling to myself when I was shopping for my mouse just now. Maybe to me it signify the next step in my career.

Like seriously WTF!?!

If you are going to make it seem like we forced you to come out then, don't bother meeting up at all!

I realised as we grow older we tend to..

Value friendships more.

Unfortunately, some friendship once loss seem so hard to get back..

Stila stay all day waterproof mascara

I bought a mascara trial set from Sephora at Usa.

Consist of 10 trial size mascara from 10 different brands, a lash primer and a fake eyelashes kit.

Shall review on each of them before I forget which is the better one before I forget by the time I reach the 10th mascara.

The first I tried was the Stila one which is super disappointing.

This brand interest me the most as I wanted to buy the eyeliner as well. Heng never buy.

The mascara start to smudge within 2h of use and hardly have any lengthening or volumising effect.

Shall try the bare essential boxum lash mascara next.

CNY

As I was looking at all the Facebook post.

It suddenly occur to me that CNY have no meaning to me at all.

I don't celebrate it and it feels just like any other day.

Even the 1 and only tradition my family had was gone as well. With my grandma gone, we no longer gather at her house to have our reunion dinner.

It is So sad to have a festival where everyone else is celebrating But means utterly nothing to yourself

Reunion dinner

One of the rare chance where me, my mum and2 brothers sit together for dinner.

We ate it with red wine..

=)

Asos

I finally got my parcel!

And I love them!

BUT this shall be my last shopping for a while,  I need to curb my spendings..

Last day of 1st month of 2013

And I am beginning to feel that this year is a weird year..

Hmm..

My pineapple tarts and kueh lapis

The course was pretty interesting although I was dead tired.

Had a fun time attending the course with Jielin.

So far we attended 3 yoga packages, 1 baking course,  a few massage packages via groupon. We still have 1 more coming up and not forgetting our Japan trip which we only settled the air tickets and nothing else..

Should really starting researching soon.

Oh and my pineapple tarts turnout pretty edibl. But I have yet to try my kueh lapis.

24H

I am amazed that after a double night turnout I can actually not sleep right after the night shift can last all the way till 5pm.

That's being awake for 24h straight,  personal best record

New year new start

Towards the end of last year I begin thinking..

I seem to have lost a lot of friends whom I could have been very close with.

As I am not someone who will message someone of out my own accord or make the effort to meet up with someone, unless that someone belongs to a group of friends who jio outings often.

Decided to change this year.

Saw KX 's wedding pics and messaged her via fb. We were once So close in jc. Constantly chatting But after jc we kind of lost contact. The last time I met her was like 2-3 years ago. After I msged her we decided to catch up over a meal and had a nice time chatting.. I am glad we met up and I hope our Next meet up won't be another 3 years later.

Other than that I decided to be more responsive to people when They message me. Some of my colleagues have already comment that I that I don't reply to messages. As a result, I have been messaging lots of random people. Need friendship formed. =)

Boring night shift

Turnout to do DGG this cycle.

Felt super lonely as I am not working with my original group and I am close with none of them. No one for me to talk to..

Usually for my night shift I have hf n jm for me to chat with. Or If I wanna go canteen or refill my bottle They will always accompany me But for this night shift I have no one =(

I felt too bored and decided to read my blog from the beginning, brought back lots of interesting memories.

The days in China, the travelling,  the ups and downs,  the quarrel. And the thoughts I had when I first join psa.

It is rather interesting, I wonder what it feels like to read it again 10 years later..

I changed my phone!!!

Now I can blog normally with my phone already!

After thinking So long I finally got the note 2 and I love it!

Now I can watch running man on my phone. Downloading it is a breeze, much faster than my notebook.. =))

I hope i won't disappoint

I hope i won't disappoint..

I don't want to disappoint the people who thought highly of me and put me in that role..

Hopefully i will be able to do a good job, awaiting the new challenge awaiting me in the snake year..

Illusion?

Was looking at the old old pictures..

And realised how much we changed..

Change in outlook..

Grow fatter..

Sadly, the friendship changed too..

Or is it that we were never as close as we thought we were?

My tailbone is hurting n i have no idea y.. =(

I love having someone whom i can do the most random things with.. like go for a 3h course to learn to bake kueh lapis n pineapple tarts.. hahaha

1 more week and i will be on leave.. Again!! But after this my next leave will be in April cos i need to save my leave, non shift got no leave luxury..

Godiva

The dark chocolate tuffles are yummy yummy yummy..

Confirmation

Received confirmation news yesterday.

Will be moving out of shift work after CNY or March.

Kind of excited about what lies ahead for me at work, although i will definitely miss my off days at shift.

I hope i don't disappoint and will be able to do well.